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| Murphy's Technology Laws |
| 06.30.04 (10:11 am) [edit] |
Murphy's Technology Laws Murphy's Technology Law #1: You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
Murphy's Technology Law #2: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Murphy's Technology Law #3: Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
Murphy's Technology Law #4: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Murphy's Technology Law #5: An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he/she knows absolutely everything about nothing.
Murphy's Technology Law #6: Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch to be sure.
Murphy's Technology Law #7: All great discoveries are made by mistake.
Murphy's Technology Law #8: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
Murphy's Technology Law #9: All's well that ends... period.
Murphy's Technology Law #10: A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.
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| Do Not Enter! |
| 06.30.04 (6:58 am) [edit] |
| Informationi | | David Williams is a restricted area. Authorised personel only |
From Go-Quiz.com
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| Darn... |
| 06.30.04 (6:15 am) [edit] |
... and I like fire too. :(
| UCAUTION | | IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP REDNECKOTAKU AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES. |
From Go-Quiz.com
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| Interesting facts you might not have know... |
| 06.28.04 (9:23 am) [edit] |
I was planning on talking about my weekend teaching gig, but I can't.
Why?
Because it didn't happen. Things came up and Claudia had to put it off until this comming weekend. Oh well. It gives me more time to prepare.
So, as a change of pace, here's a some interesing facts I ran across that some of you might find interesting.
Enjoy. :D
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[b]Alexander Selkirk:[/b] Marooned Scottish sailor who was the inspiration for the Daniel Defoe novel [i]Robinson Crusoe.[/i]
[b]Panophobia:[/b] The fear of everything.
[b]Brannock Device:[/b] Metallic device used to measure shoe size. Invented by Charles Brannock in 1926.
[b]Notaphilist:[/b] Technical term for a collector of bank notes or paper currency.
[b]Southern Made Doughnuts:[/b] the only TV commercial Elvis ever did. Aired in Shreveport, LA on november 6, 1954.
[b]Glossophobia:[/b] The fear of speaking in public.
[b]$566,400:[/b] The theoretical maximum that a contestant can win in a single episode of [i]Jeopardy![/i]
[b]465 feet:[/b] Proportional full body height of the Presidents on Mount Rushmore.
[b]R.A.L.P.H.:[/b] Royal Association for the Longevity and Preservation of the Homeymooners.
[b]Gephyrophobia:[/b] Fear of crossing bridges
[b]The best of Marcel Marceau:[/b] 1970 album consisting of 19 min. of silence and one min. of applause on each side.
[b]$15,140:[/b] Amount of money in the game Monopoly.
[b]254:[/b] # of counties in Texas
[b]285:[/b] # of "Rules of Acquisition" of the profit-hungry Ferengi from Star Trek.
[b]512:[/b] Average # of plain M&Ms per pound.
[b]Pensylvania:[/b] How Pennsylvania is spelled on the liberty Bell.
[b]Brad's Drink:[/b] The original name of Pepsi-Cola, invented by Caleb Bradham.
[b]triskaidekaphobia:[/b] Fear of the # 13.
[b]125:[/b] # of times "Duke appeares in the song "Duke of Earl."
[b]Second Hand furniture Dealer:[/b] Al Capone's occupation on his business cards.
[b]3:[/b] Minimum # of people needed for a riot, according to criminal law.
[b]Jonas Grumby:[/b] Real name of the Skipper (Alan Hale) on Gilligan's Island.
[b]Botts dots:[/b] Name of the reflectors on the road, invented by Elbert D. Botts in 1953.
[b]Sesquipedalophobia:[/b ] The fear of long words.
[b]Elwood Edwards:[/b] The voice-over artist welcoming users on AOL.
[b]Arachibutyrophobia:[/b ] The fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one's mouth.
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| My upcomming weekend... |
| 06.24.04 (2:37 pm) [edit] |
This weekend, I plan on doing something I have never done before...
...teach someone to use a computer.
Remember my friend Claudia?
Well, she's currently looking for a job, and she has no computer skills what-so-ever. Amazing in this day and age, isn't it.
This poor girl wouldn't even know how to turn one on.
To give her a better chance on her job hunt, I'm going to spend the weekend teaching her the basics. I believe she'll catch on quick, and if she does, I may go into some more advanced things such as word and stuff.
And if she does really good, I may treat her to some Chinese for lunch.
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| Damn computers... |
| 06.21.04 (4:29 pm) [edit] |
Sometimes I really hate computers. :evil:
The moniter on my desktop is acting up. I tried to get on it last night, but couldn't. The image is scrunched up to a thin line at the top. It's done this a few times before. Usually I can just let it sit for a while and the image will suddenly spring back to normal. Last night it didn't do that. I let it sit for two hours and nothing. Usually it only takes 30 min at the most.
My laptop is a different story.
When I graduated form Remington College (a local tech school), the laptop students use while there officially becomes thiers. The only down side: no program discs what-so-ever.
The only way to fix the friggen thing is to reinstall the OS. I think the school would fix it if I take it to them, but I'm not sure. Just ain't had time to find out. Hopefully they will, otherwise I'll have to shell out some money for a new copy of XP.
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| I went and did it anyways. |
| 06.18.04 (10:25 pm) [edit] |
Yep. After deciding not to participate in the movie this week, I end up taking the day off of work anyways. I called my boss and told her I was sick and she wished me well.
My biggest accomplishment of the day:
I bought the latest volume of one of my all-time favorite mangas: "The All-New Tenchi Muyo!" The current story is at volume #4, but has been around for several years. It's a great read for anyone who likes Sci-fi, comedy, action, and romance all rolled into one nice little bizzare package.
For those who never heard of it, let me [i]try[/i] a quick and simple explanation of it:
It's basically a story of a teenager who, through several plot twists that happen to come together at about the same time, manages to find himself living with 5 very beautiful women who are in love with him and constantly fight over him, all while trying to deal with the current crisis or adventure at hand.
An alien Princess with an attitude, her sweet and lovable kid sister, a several thousand year old (but young looking) mad scientist, an artificially created drop dead gorgeous sake loving space pirate, a beautiful, yet dim-witted member of the space police, a cat/rabbit looking thing that can go from cute animal form, to 8 y/o girl form, to hot looking teen, to giant intergalactic spaceship, all in the blink of an eye, and Tenchi (part alien, part human) are the major players in this fun and exciting story.
I highly recommend checking it out sometime.
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| My movie decision... |
| 06.17.04 (3:29 pm) [edit] |
Well, I decided not to go. I needed the money more than I needed the day off. Kind of glad I didn't.
Why?
Here's why:
1) It rained real bad today. Even worse where they were filming. They probably didn't get any filming done.
2) The beach where the pier they were filming on is closed do to recent rains.
3) Jelly fish are really really bad, also due to the rain.
Oh well.
I don't think I missed out on much anyways. They'll still be filming for the next few weeks, so maybe I'll get another chance.
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| Top Ten Real Reasons John Kerry Is Running For President |
| 06.17.04 (2:56 pm) [edit] |
[Courtesy Of The Lateshow With David Letterman]
10. To bring renewed tedium and uncertainty to the Democratic party.
9. Vows to be the greatest horse-faced President since Polk.
8. Couldn't live with himself if he didn't hold a higher office than Schwarzenegger.
7. Needs an excuse to get out of a wedding in February.
6. Get elected, eat a ton of waffles, become the fattest President.
5. Long days on the campaign trail beats sitting around being nagged by the wife to put away the socks.
4. An unusually persuasive horoscope told him he should.
3. Did you know if the President kills some guy in a bar fight the FBI will make it cool?
2. A leader who supports both sides of every issue is a friend to all Americans.
1. Show the world not all Democrats are ass-grabbing womanizers.
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| Decisions Decisions... |
| 06.16.04 (4:36 pm) [edit] |
Recently, I found out that a movie is being filmed here in and around Mobile, AL. It's a movie called "The Novice." It's about a guy studying to become a Priest, but starts doubting his decision when he meeets and falls in love with a woman he meets when helping out at a local soup kitchen.
A few weeks ago, I attended an open casting call for extras for the movie. I went in, they took my picture, and was told they would call if they needed me.
Well, I got that call today. Tomorrow, a group scene is being filmed at a local fishing pier. They'll be filming from 10:15 to 5:00. I'd love to go, but I also have to work. :(
I know I could take the day off and spend it on the set of a movie, but I really could use the money I'd make for a days work.
What to do...
What to do...
Bills or fun?
Fun or bills?
It's a really tough choice.
I'll let you know what I decide.
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| George Carlin Quotes... |
| 06.11.04 (3:37 pm) [edit] |
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Just got the "Daily Tip" thing from T-Blog and decided to have some fun with it. It's now Daily Quotes form George Carlin. Though it would be something different. :D
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| Rules to Live By... |
| 06.11.04 (3:12 pm) [edit] |
[b]From George Carlin...[/b] http://www.georgecarlin.com
Life is not as difficult as people think; all one needs is a good set of rules. Since it is probably too late for you, here are some guidelines to pass along to your children.
1. Relax and take it easy. Don't get caught up in hollow conceits such as "doing something with your life." Such twaddle is outmoded and a sure formula for disappointment.
2. Whatever it is you pursue, try to do it just well enough to remain in the middle third of the field. Keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself and don't ask questions. Remember, the squeaky wheel is the first one to be replaced.
3. Size people up quickly, and develop rigid attitudes based on your first impression. If you try to delve deeper and get to "know" people, you're asking for trouble.
4. Don't fall for that superstitious nonsense about treating people the way you would like to be treated. It is a transparently narcissistic approach, and may be the sign of a weak mind.
5. Spend as much time as you can pleading and impressing others, even if it makes you unhappy. Pay special attention to shallow manipulators who can do you the most harm. Remember, in the overall scheme, you count for very little.
6. Surround yourself with inferiors and losers. Not only will you look good by comparison, but they will look up to you, and that will make you feel better.
7. Don't buy into the sentimental notion that everyone has shortcomings; it's the surest way of undermining yourself. Remember, the really best people have no defects. If you're not perfect, something is wrong.
8. If by some off chance you do detect a few faults, first, accept the fact that you are probably deeply flawed. Then make a list of your faults and dwell on them. Carry the list around and try to think of things to add. Blame yourself for everything.
9. Beware of intuition and gut instincts, they are completely unreliable. Instead, develop preconceived notions and don't waver unless someone tells you to. Then change your mind and adopt their point of view. But only if they seem to know what they're talking about.
10. Never give up on an idea simply because it is bad and doesn't work. Cling to it even when it is hopeless. Anyone can cut and run, but it takes a very special person to stay with something that is stupid and harmful.
11. Always remember, today doesn't count. Trying to make something out of today only robs you of precious time that could be spent daydreaming or resting up.
12. Try to dwell on the past. Think of all the mistakes you've made, and how much better it would be if you hadn't made them. Think of what you should have done, and blame yourself for not doing so. And don't go easy. Be really hard on yourself.
13. If by chance you make a fresh mistake, especially a costly one, try to repeat it a few times so you become familiar with it and can do it easily in the future. Write it down. Put it with your list of faults.
14. Beware also of the dangerous trap of looking ahead; it will only get you in trouble. Instead, try to drift along from day to day in a meandering fashion. Don't get sidetracked with some foolish "plan."
15. Finally, enjoy yourself all the time, and do whatever you want. Don't be seduced by that mindless chatter going around about "responsibility." That's exactly the sort of thing that can ruin your life.
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| Just this once... |
| 06.10.04 (3:54 pm) [edit] |
I'm only saying this once. You can take this [i]any[/i] way you wish, but either way, it's true.
[u][b]I like Bush.[/b][/u]
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| Alone in the office... |
| 06.09.04 (4:20 pm) [edit] |
Have you ever had the office to yourself?
Recently, my schedule was changed from days to evenings, and I frequently find myself alone here.
It's actually pretty relaxing. No one to bother you while you try to work. No phone calls either. No one else is even in the building, so I decided to get comfortable and relax like I do at home.
Yep. The pants are off.
No more stuff business clothes for me, at least until it's time to leave. Hell, I could just leave them off. This area's practically deserted and no one would notice.
I could probably even go nakid if I wanted. No one would be around to see. :P
It would be my luck that someone would happen by just at that moment and I'd wind up going to jail.
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| Look at the freak!!! |
| 06.08.04 (4:44 pm) [edit] |
I'm sorry if this picture damages your monitor in any way. That was not my intention. :p
![]() =http://img78.photobucket.com/...
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| A Joke... |
| 06.08.04 (3:29 pm) [edit] |
In the former USSR, thier was this married couple. One day they were running low on bread, so the wife sent her husband to the local state owned bread store, where they were passing out loaves of bread.
The line was pretty long, streatching around the block. So, the guy gets in line and waits.
Three hours go by. Tired and frustrated from the wait, he finally finds himself in the building, third one away from being served.
"Sorry folks. That's it for the day. We've run out of bread," says the guy behind the counter.
"WHAT!" says our guy.
"We're starving! We're tired! We have families to feed! How can you be out of such a simple thing as bread?!?"
Suddenly, out of the shadows steps a guy in a black trench coat. "Sir," he says, "You're speaking out of line. You know such a thing is not allowed. Just go home, and please don't let this ever happen again."
So the guy returns home. Upon arriving, his wife says, "You've been gone for three house, yet you still come home empty handed."
"That's not the half of it," he tells her.
"They were also out of bullets."
Believe it or not, former President Reagan told this joke to former Soviet President Gorbachev during thier first ever meeting. Each time they met, Reagan told such jokes to help get his points across conserning Communism.
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| NEW LOOK! |
| 06.07.04 (10:44 pm) [edit] |
I got bored and decided to change the look of my Blog.
Let me know what you think.
Thier's only one thing that bugs me about it, though.
Maybe it's because I'm half asleep while doing this or I'm just dumb (most likely a combination of the two), but I can't seem to figure out how to change the color of the text on my calendar. I've got it looking almost the way I want it, except for the text color for the dates(currently appearing in black).
What am I missing? :?
For all I know, I might not be able to change it. That would be my luck.
Oh well.
(sigh)
I'll figure it out later.
I better get my ass to bed before I wind up going to work tomorrow with a keyboard imprinted on the side of my face. :P
(YAAAAWWWWNNN...)
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| HELP! |
| 06.01.04 (9:40 am) [edit] |
I don't know what's wrong today, but I can's stop pissing on myself for some reason. Every time I go to pee, I aim one direction, but it goes in another, or it does that "finger on the end of a waterhose" spray effect.
I know I'm not doing anything wrong. Being "uncut", I know I'm not letting the skin get in they way. I bathed him this morning, so that's not a problem. It's got me puzzled.
At least my pants are drying quick.
Maybe I'll just sit down next time and save myself all the trouble.
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Daily George Carlin Quote:
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